The Son of a Preacher Man

In 1969, at the age of eight, Brendan Watkins’ parents, Bet and Roy, sat him and his brother Damien down and told them that they were both adopted. Their parents told them that they loved them very much, and that was pretty much the end of the conversation. The topic of the boys adoption was never discussed again, and the little family of four went on as if the conversation hasn't happened at all.

The news hit both boys differently. As Brendan tells it his brother Damien listened, accepted that he was adopted and moved on. He never felt a need to explore why, and never felt a need to learn about his birth family. For Brendan the news that he was adopted spawned many questions and concerns, and a curiosity to learn more, all of which he kept to himself until he was an adult on his own.

Brendan’s was a “closed” adoption, meaning that the identity of his birth parents was a secret that would never be revealed, even to the adoptee. But as Brendan got older the law around closed adoptions loosened. He petitioned to have the details of his birth opened up to him. Finally, in his 20s he learned that his mother's name was Maggie, that she had been a nun, and that she wanted nothing to do with him.

From there the secrets of Brendan's birth slowly and sporadically reveal themselves, but it takes persistence, patience and the diplomatic skills of his wife to establish a relationship, however tenuous, with his mother. After more years he is finally able on his own to identify his birth father, a rather well known outback priest (his mother refuses to help). By this time his father has passed away, so Brendan researches the man and organises a trip to his Outback parishes to learn more about him.

While on his trip to the Outback visiting with people who knew his father, Brendan feels constrained to not reveal his true relationship to the priest. This sense of secrets too shameful to reveal, and of Catholic guilt, permeates Watkins’ story and every person in it.

That guilt and shame appears to have been a big motivator for Watkins to write this book. He spends quite some time at the end of the book decrying the lack of assistance he received from the Catholic Church on his journey of discovery, and laying out how many others he believes may be similarly situated (with at least one parent from a Catholic religious order). In his words, if his father was considered married to the Church, then the Church should in turn feel an obligation to it's children.

RATING: Three Stars ⭐⭐⭐

RATING COMMENTS: This is a remarkable and thought provoking memoir of one man's journey to uncover the truth of his birth, and the difficulties he encounters along the way. With short, tight chapters the story mostly flies quickly along. Having said that, parts of the book feel repetitive and it does drag in places.

WHERE I GOT MY COPY: I read an ebook copy that I checked out of the Brisbane Public Library.